


Just Before I Go

by swvnqueen



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Flirting, Fluff, Realm Hopping, Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-09-21 03:59:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9530603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swvnqueen/pseuds/swvnqueen
Summary: The dust has settled and it was now time for the Evil Queen to go back to her land. Just before that happens, she decides to have fun and mess with Emma and Regina's lives for the last time. Post 5B. Emma x Regina x EQ fun times.





	1. Evil Celibacy

“Hey Regina, hey EQ. Come in.”

  
  


Emma opened the door to the Sheriff's station and the two women walked in. Regina slightly smiled at the Saviour while the Evil Queen was pursing her lips all the while, obviously couldn't be more bored. Emma was used to that. Since she's been domesticated, she couldn't let out energy how she usually does and in the grand scheme of things, she's okay with that.

  
  


Regina stayed standing while the Evil Queen waltzed to a chair nearby. Everyone insisted that she stop wearing her ball gowns dripping with jewels but she couldn't be convinced. Emma clapped her hands before turning to them both. “So, we are gathered here today...” She started, very like a minister. “...to figure out how to get the Evil Queen home.” The Evil Queen winked at Emma so she quickly snapped her head to Regina. “Wait, should we wait for my parents?”

  
  


“And just what will those two idiots contribute, dear?” EQ blew on her nails even though her nail polish has been dry for days.

  
  


Regina scoffed. “Stop stealing my lines, okay?”

  
  


EQ answered with a mild eye roll. “I've been calling them idiots since the dawn of time. You stole it from me.”

  
  


Emma intervened before another cat fight between the two of them started. For someone who was literally the same person, they definitely didn't get along and squabbled like children. “Alright, no waiting for my parents. Regina, you told me you had an idea of how to send EQ back to her time?”

  
  


“Time; You make me sound so old, Sheriff. Look at me, do you think I'm past, how do you say it in this world, 30?” She gestured her body, like how a car model would a Ferrari or something.

  
  


“Yeah, I've been punched by Regina once. I'm not going to answer that.' Emma went back to her table and grabbed the box of donuts. “Do you want one, Gina?”

  
  


“Thanks but I'll pass.” She smiled instead.

  
  


EQ eyes narrowed at the smiles they shared. Emma plucked a glazed donut and generously bit into it. The rush of sugar made her eyes roll to the back of her head. To this, Regina slightly smirked. After the smirk came a raging blush. One that she tried to hide with clearing her throat. EQ saw this and her interest was piqued.

  
  


''o, ats a pla?” Emma asked, mid chew.

  
  


Regina knew it was a pointless battle to right Emma's manners so she just let it go. “I found a spell that will definitely work...' She paused. “..But, we're missing one important ingredient.”

  
  


Emma swallowed. “What is it?”

  
  


“A seer's tear.”

  
  


She was confused. “A seer's tear? You mean a fortune teller? We have those back in Boston. Do you think I could come there and just make one cry?”

  
  


“Not quite, dear. It has to be someone from the land. I don't recall bringing one with the curse.”

  
  


“Oh.” Emma deflated for a bit. “Well, do you have a plan B?”

  
  


“Why do you both want to get rid of me? I can stay here and rule this land, you know.” EQ piped up.

  
  


“You don't belong here, Reg- Evil Queen. You belong back in our land. Time will move and when you're not there to cast the curse, we..” Regina pointed to herself and Emma…”won’t exist here and it will screw up everything. We need to send you back home.”

  
  


She rolled her eyes. “Fine, if I must. You're both going about this all wrong. You know I can just use my magic to go back right?” EQ showed her hand and electricity crackled in her fingers.

  
  


Regina rushed over and clasped the hand with her own. 'Stop that! You more than anyone knows that magic comes with a price. If you do any, it will ripple into the past!'

  
  


Emma watched both of them interact and shook her head, like how they did in the cartoons. Seeing Regina and her Evil Queen counterpart was really a mind fuck, especially since they couldn't be more apart in terms of personality. Regina was still a firecracker but she was just a smidgen to the Evil Queen.

  
  


Her presence was commanding and demanding. Every time she's in a room, you will take notice. Her voice was often low and hushed but it will inevitably be heard and once you do, it almost seeps into your veins and brands on your skin. Lastly, the Evil Queen was so seductive, it was unbelievable. More than once did Emma catch the imposing figure looking her up and down in appraisal. They were in crisis mode, yes, but sometimes Emma couldn't stop and think what would happen if she acted on it. The thought made Emma grin.

  
  


“Seems like our dear Sheriff is thinking of the both of us in more compromising positions.”

  
  


Regina looked back just in time for Emma's grin to evaporate. “Miss Swan, can you please?”

  
  


“What? I wasn't thinking of anything!” The brunette righted herself and went back to Emma's side. 'Your twin is so much trouble, Gina. Got any more ideas on how to send her back?'

  
  


“We can find out once and for all if I did send a seer to this land.”

  
  


Silence blanketed them for a couple seconds as plans formulated in their heads. Emma was already thinking of creating a task force to search the place. Regina was thinking of what to cook for dinner since it was obvious the task fell on Emma and EQ was thinking of ways not to die of boredom while the two people in front of her wore such deeply furrowed eyebrows. There was a good chance she was going to be sent back soon since surely she would send a seer with everyone else. EQ looked at Emma and Regina once again and checked out how they were naturally gravitating towards each other. While thinking, they were slightly swaying and was pulling into each other like magnets.

  
  


Interesting.

  
  


She cleared her throat. “So, what would you have me do?”

  
  


“Nothing.” Emma answered. “You'll stay with Regina and keep out of trouble.” She turned to the former Mayor. “I'll hold a meeting at town hall and ask people. Then if no one knows a seer, we'll do a search. We'll scour the forests; we won't leave any rock unturned. We'll find the seer, I promise.' She gave Regina a firm nod.

  
  


'I believe in you, Emma.'

  
  


The reassurance made Emma blush. 'Good. I won't let you down.'

  
  


All throughout this interaction, EQ was intently watching. The two looked at each before holding gaze and that's when she knew. They were both hot for each other. Or maybe in love but she wanted to focus on the charge of sexual energy between them. That was more fun. If she really was coming back, she's got to do something ridiculously fun first. A smirk graced her face. What better way to leave than with a bang?

  
  


Regina sighed. 'Alright, I'll get the rest of the ingredients ready. You'll let me know if you find her, right?'

  
  


Emma finally popped the last bite of the donut and dusted off her fingers. 'Of course, of course. Hey, after this, can we do dinner tonight?'

  
  


'Dinner?' She blinked.

  
  


'Yeah, you, me, Henry and Roland. Don't worry about preparing something, I'll pick up food on the way.'

  
  


'Oh, how nice. You're going to let me starve...'

  
  


The two looked at EQ who had a sorry pout on her face. Emma had to giggle. 'What do you even eat? Like, for breakfast?'

  
  


'New born infants.' She said, with a serious tone of voice.

  
  


Emma was horrified and stepped back. 'Okay, I'm definitely not letting my little brother near you.'

  
  


'Emma, dear, she's kidding.' Regina took the Sheriff's arm and rubbed it up and down in a reassuring gesture. 'She ate birds. Cooked. Not raw.' She was quick to inform. The stiff posture melted down into Emma's usual hunched back. Since the effect was reached, Regina should've taken off her hand but she found out she liked being this close to Emma. Her eyes flicked up to the baby blues and she was momentarily transfixed. God, she was beautiful.

  
  


EQ clapped twice and Regina jumped away from the blonde.

  
  


'Fine but, I'm still not letting EQ near him.'

  
  


'Neither will I.' Regina turned to her evil twin. 'You'll get your ration of food but you're not eating with us.'

  
  


'What, like a prisoner? Need I remind you that I'm willingly domesticated?'

  
  


It was clear that she just wanted some humanity. Whether she deserved it or not was not a debate Regina felt like going into at the moment so she conceded. It was just dinner after all. She nodded. 'Fine, come to dinner and we'll, I don't know, celebrate your evil celibacy.'

  
  


'And actual celibacy?' She winked at Emma again. Regina stepped in front of Emma and EQ had to chuckle. There was definitely something and she will capitalize on it.

  
  


Regina sighed and decided to end their little meeting. She walked to her evil twin and grabbed her hand. 'Let's go home. We'll see you later, Emma.'

  
  
  


 


	2. Chapter 2

Emma said not to cook anything but Regina thought it best to have something. She was preparing the dinner when EQ walked in and stood right behind her. She was going through the motions of chopping the onions, acting nonchalant at the calculating stare of the woman on her back.

  
  


“Dear?”

  
  


Finally, she spoke and it sent ripples of electricity throughout her body. It was a weird feeling hearing her own voice. It has been a while since she's used this voice and if Regina was to be honest, she missed it. “Yes?” She gave her own drawl, she couldn't help but to.

  
  


“Never would've guessed you'd do your own cooking. You are very different here.” She laid a hand on the shoulder and turned the brunette to face her. The surprise in the woman's eyes were apparent. Black skin tight leather and a show of ample cleavage always does the trick. The reflective browns tracked her body and back up. “Do you like what you see?”

  
  


“Why are you wearing that?” Regina put down her knife and instantly regretted it when EQ came closer. She was trapped when the two hands landed on hers. Seeing herself this close was unreal. At least, her make-up was still on point. “What are you doing?”

  
  


EQ made her hands ran up the strong arms and up to her shoulder. “You're so tensed. Do you want me to relieve some of that?” Fingers dusted to the sculpted jaw and Regina's head was tilted up. She met the smoldering gaze and EQ found herself entranced. She wasn't seeing herself, she was just seeing a beautiful woman who was slightly trembling. Interesting. Maybe she can have fun with Regina as well. She leaned forward, close enough to feel the hot puffs of breath that bathed her face. She licked her lips briefly before looking at the pair in front of her.

  
  


“What... are you doing?”

  
  


“Seeing you this way... It's different...”

  
  


Their gaze locked and Regina could see the fire in her eyes. She knew this, of course, but it was still magnetic. This is what her subjects must have felt. The Evil Queen wielded so much power and even she was being affected right now. “Yeah?” Her voice wavered and she hated it. What is it about leather and that smoky voice of hers?

  
  


“You will never look as good as me but... you in those short, tight skirts?” Hands went down to Regina's ass and she cupped a good amount of flesh. She certainly didn't lose her physique in this world. They both got even closer and with one tilt of her head, their lips came together.

  
  


Regina's eyes fell close as she tasted the deep, red lips in front of her. They were incredibly spicy with just a hint of sweet and she liked it. Arms wrapped around the heavily adorned neck and her body bowed to the Queen. It should feel unusual since she was essentially kissing herself but it wasn't. It felt like she was kissing someone else. Someone completely different from her. Someone who definitely knew what she was doing.

  
  


Her legs were quickly parted and the woman fit herself in front of it. Their bodies completely touching heightened the pleasure. After a sly inhale, she opened her mouth and the other quickly followed. Their tongues sought each other in twin movements that made Regina pause and grin, they were both dominant and quickly getting the upper hand. She wasn't one to relinquish control but in this situation, she acquiesced and let the Evil Queen lead.

  
  


Once in the back seat, the Evil Queen took what was offered and then some. Intense was an understatement for how they went when they got their groove. Regina clawed on the intricate outfit and fought hard to stay in rhythm. The woman kissing her was just so damn good. Better than she's ever had which Regina realized was really conceited of her but she couldn't care less.

  
  


The Evil Queen pushed her to the counter and proceeded to grab her breasts next. She had a thin, silk blouse on and an equally thin bra. A couple more ministrations and her partner will soon feel a nipple stand to attention. This should come with red, blaring signs but Regina was too far gone.

  
  


EQ enjoyed how Regina reacted to her. For someone who seemed so buttoned up, she sure was open and willing. Some remnants of her were lying underneath the wool coats after all. If she can't have fun with one Emma Swan, she will have fun with Regina Mills. Their appearances were worlds different with her dark make up and high up do. Naked and writhing, they will be leveled but this will be nothing like when no one of her chamber maids satisfied her and she had to do the job herself. This was even better since there were two sets of everything. The thought made her hungrier and she started kneading the soft flesh.

  
  


The motion short circuited Regina's brain and zapped what measly amount of air remained in her lungs. She yanked herself off of the plump lips and craned her head back, giving way for the Evil Queen to kiss down her neck. That was what she exactly did and soon enough, Regina was feeling teeth bite her and lips suck. It felt as if there were more than a couple of pairs feasting on her neck with how fast she was moving and it was driving her even more insane. “God...” It has been a while with all the villain battling they were doing and now she could feel that much missed coiling below her stomach.

  
  


“You can certainly call me that.” The Evil Queen moved to the buttons of the silk blouse and let them out of their holes painstakingly slow. She wanted to hear Regina beg for her. She even applied the same pace to her kissing and it only took a couple of seconds before Regina caught up with her.

  
  


“Why... are you... slowing down...?”

  
  


“What do you want?” She bit the collarbone and enjoyed the feeling of Regina's short nails on her nape.

  
  


“What?”

  
  


The Evil Queen gave another good bite before she pulled her head off completely. Then she was able to see the wanton look on Regina's face. It was amusing and incredibly arousing. “Tell me what you want.”

  
  


Regina had to swallow. She knew this game too well but on the receiving end, she didn't quite know how to continue. “What you were doing...” She answered evasively.

  
  


“Tell me what you want and I'll do it.”

  
  


Regina chuckled/exhaled. 'I don't like playing this game.' She grabbed the head and pulled her in for another bruising kiss.

  
  


“My, it's been a while, huh?”

  
  


The only answer she gave was taking the hand on her breast down to the hem of her skirt. It was a clear indication of what the Evil Queen should do next. “It has, so get to it or I'll do it myself.”

  
  


The Evil Queen knew that was a real threat since Regina was wound up too tight and on the verge of snapping. She gave in and dragged her long fingers up the smooth legs, eventually reaching the silk underwear. Predictable. Even Regina ten years from now will still wears silk. It was their trademark. A finger moved and felt the heated skin.

  
  


Regina gasped as soon as she felt the Evil Queen drag her finger on her hip. Their faces were close, she was holding the beautiful head tightly, almost afraid to let go. Frustrated, she grumbled. “Do it... _please_...”

  
  


“Well, since you asked oh so nicely-”

  
  


“Regina? Are you here? … Oh my god!” Emma flew to the scene in front of her and pulled the Evil Queen off of Regina. She pushed the imposing figure until there was a feet distance between them and kept her hand on her chest. The outfit EQ was wearing wasn't lost on her, she blinked a couple times to take in quickly but there were more pressing matters at hand. The smirk on the Queen's face gave her all the evidence she needed that there was something horrible happening. “What the hell were you doing with Regina?”

  
  


EQ playfully rolled her eyes. “I don't think Regina would want me to answer that.”

  
  


“What?” She turned back to Regina and saw that her lipstick was smeared all over her face. Her mouth formed an O in confusion about what that was about. “Regina, what's going on?”

  
  


“You can take your hands off of me dear, I don't need to be stopped. Regina, however...”

  
  


Regina blushed hard while she was trying to fix the disarray of her clothing. “Emma, we were kind of...” She glanced at the Evil Queen and she obviously enjoying this. “We were kind of...”

  
  


“We were kissing, dear Sheriff. Had you not come in, we would have, as the people on this land say, “do it” on the kitchen.”

  
  


“Done it.” Regina supplemented.

  
  


Emma's mouth dropped.

  
  


Regina turned and gripped the counter before she took the knife and started cutting the vegetables again.

  
  


“You and... and you?” She pointed to EQ. “What the f... Regina, you are aware that she's you, right? Are you under a spell? Do I need to call the blue fairy?”

  
  


'She's still alive?' The Evil Queen took note of this to remind herself not to bring that annoying little bug.

  
  


“I was not under a spell.. per se. She was just... intoxicating, alright?” Regina swung back. “What are you doing here? It's not dinner yet.” Emma didn't carry a bag of food, just her usual red leather jacketed self.

  
  


“Oh. I was... I just-I wanted to tell you that, that um, we found someone who knew a seer.” The two Regina's both swung their heads to her. “She apparently lived in the forest so we're going there tomorrow to find her. I would've texted but I just wanted to tell you in person.” Emma rubbed her palms on her thighs. “I should go. Let you two, reconnect and stuff.” She bolted out of the room and was at the door in a flash.

  
  


Regina followed her and ignored the smile that her evil twin was giving her as she walked out. “Emma, wait!”

  
  


At the foyer, they stood and faced each other.

  
  


“Yeah?”

  
  


“I feel embarrassed. I don't know what happened back there.”

  
  


Emma was obviously still uncomfortable. “Hey, it's no big deal. You can do whatever you want on your free time. I'm not one to judge. It's just like your masturbating, right?” As soon as she said it, Emma's cheeks wore the brightest colour of red. “I mean, I- I- uh, I should probably go now before I shoot myself in the foot even more.” She reached to wiped some of the smeared lipstick. Her mouth aimed to speak but the Evil Queen appeared behind Regina and watched them both. She turned on her heel and was out of the house before any of them can comment.

  
  


Regina snapped and with a quick wash of violet smoke, she was perfect again. The only thing she can't get rid however was the blush on her cheek.

  
  


“What's there?”

  
  


Annoyed, she asked. “What?” Regina walked back to the kitchen, EQ in tow.

  
  


“Aside from uncomfortable, Emma seemed jealous which is absolutely preposterous since you're me. I'm going to ask again, what's there?”

  
  


Regina only sighed.

  
  


“I gathered as much.” EQ crossed her arms and leaned back. 'The daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Not my first choice, she is their offspring after all, but an interesting one for sure. How have you not, how do you say this, “hit that”?”

  
  


“Please stop watching cable.” She put down the knife. The only thing she wanted was to crawl in her bed and sleep, maybe let the shame die down and wake up as if this never happened. She was suddenly not feeling up to cooking anymore so the cut vegetables were put into containers for later.

  
  


“You're tense again. We can continue. I'll finish this time, I promise.”

  
  


The door to the fridge was slammed close. “No thanks, I'd rather do a drum solo.”

  
  


As Regina went upstairs, the deep chuckle of the Evil Queen accompanied her.

  
  


 


	3. Chapter 3

“Emma!” Little Roland opened the door to the 108 Residence. It was already past seven so it was a safe bet she'll get reprimanded by Regina. Good thing it was Granny's fault. She swooped down and carried the little boy in her arms. “Hey little buddy, how are you?”

  
  


“Hungry.” Then he giggled.

  
  


“You're so god damn cute, you know that?” Emma walked inside, as slowly as she can without looking weird.

  
  


“Gum dam?”

  
  


Emma's eyes widened. “Oh shit, please don't say that again. Regina will kill me.”

 

“Ship!”

  
  


Her eyes closed. “Christ on a stick.” She eventually got to the dining room and opened the door by backing into it. The first thing that hit her senses was the smell of food. She asked Regina not to cook but she did anyway. Not that she minded, Emma loved Regina's food plus she did buy a large chunk of steak and only that. Probably not the best choice. Regina was nowhere to be found so she let little Roland down and went to the kitchen.

  
  


“Roland, honey, please don't answer the door without me-Oh. Emma. Good evening, Sheriff.”

  
  


Regina was wearing an apron above her usual mayoral outfit of a blouse and skirt. Emma found it adorable. “You cooked.”

  
  


“I did.” She pulled her mittens off and grabbed a plating dish for the roasted chicken. While doing her task, she was throwing glances Emma's way and saw how she was shifting like a crazy person. “Are there ants in your pants, Sheriff?”

  
  


Emma chuckled. “No, um, here's steak.” She moved forward and handed the bag, which Regina took. “There are some vegetables but I didn't exactly buy salad so good thing you cooked.”

  
  


Regina gave her an easy smile. “I guessed as much. I don't mind, Emma. I've thought of it as my responsibility to feed you healthy foods when you're eating in my house.” She joked.

  
  


“And you knew I wouldn't bring some kale, walnut, bullshit salad?”

  
  


All the main courses were soon plated and Regina handed a platter to Emma to bring to the dining room. “No. You're a meat and potatoes kind of woman but I'd like to think I can change that. And my kale, walnut, bullshit salad is fantastic, mind you.”

  
  


They both smiled and when they looked at each other, their earlier awkwardness was gone. Emma was no longer shifting and had adopted her usual posture, slouching with a side of cocked hip. Regina sighed and saw this as a good sign. They were back. “C'mon, let's see what trouble the kids and the Evil Queen have boiled up this time.”

  
  


“Let's.”

  
  


When they came out, Henry was looking up at the Evil Queen who was in her usual garish garb. It was the blue, velvet dress with the open back and Henry was touching the fabric. He had no fear in his eyes, only amusement. They've been with the Evil Queen for a couple weeks now but he's still amazed at how she is. They rarely talked since kids weren't really EQ's thing and she's been apathetic about the presence of her would be son.

  
  


“Henry, don't come too close to her.” Emma admonished. She was kidding but still.

  
  


“Why not?”

  
  


Regina didn't mind it, honestly. The person she was back then was someone she was scared of as well. “Don't fuss around her, Henry.”

  
  


“Mom, I'm not afraid of her.”

  
  


EQ took offense to that, immediately. Everyone should be afraid of her. That's what fuels her power. People cowering when she walks, people looking down when she's around, people’s knees trembling just from the mere thought of her. She turned to Henry who was still looking at him with wide, accepting eyes. EQ pushed back her shoulders, tilted her head up slowly and stood in an imposing stance next to Henry. “And why, dear gremlin, are you not afraid of me?”

  
  


Henry smiled. “Because you're my mom. You don't know me yet but I know you love me and you'd never hurt me.”

  
  


The air was sucked out of the room as soon as Henry stepped forward and hugged the Evil Queen. Emma almost dropped the plate of food she was holding and Regina's eyes zoned in on what EQ's fingers were doing. After what felt like the longest minute, the Evil Queen's arms came around Henry and she hugged back. Her whole demeanor changed. Shoulders that were up dropped down and she melted in the hug. She even laid her chin on Henry's head and closed her eyes, seemingly relishing every single second that it was happening.

  
  


Emma looked at Regina and smiled when she saw that her eyes had turned glassy in unshed tears. She might be surrounded by darkness but in her core, she was still Regina.

  
  


“Plus, I saw you playing with Roland the other day. You were carrying him and pretending as if he was an airplane. You even made sounds-”

  
  


The hug was quickly broken. “Alright, alright, let's not get carried away.”

  
  


“This is why you have to come back. If you don't, you won't have Henry in your life.”

  
  


The Evil Queen nodded. “I understand.” Her eyes snapped down when she felt someone tugging on her dress. It was little Roland who had his arms out, expecting to be carried. She scooped him up and he played with the high collar of her dress.

  
  


“I'm hungry.” He said shyly, causing Emma to burst in laughter.

  
  


“You heard the little guy. Let's eat.”

  
  


They all dug in as soon as the food was served. Emma and Henry had good servings on their plates while Regina and the Evil Queen kept to a modest size. Roland didn't want to leave the Evil Queen's side so she sat him down on her lap and started to feed him from her plate. He was entirely too old for this but no one stopped him because he looked incredibly cute. Henry had second servings of Regina's roasted chicken while Emma almost finished the steak, leaving only a couple slices. She didn't eat any of the greens that were laid in front of her and it made Regina a little nit-picky. She held herself back however because she wasn't her girlfriend, just a normal friend.

  
  


“Regina, can I have ice cream?”

  
  


The Evil Queen looked at the Mayor. “Dear, do we have what he's asking for?”

  
  


“We do but we're not supposed to give the little man ice cream at night. He'll be buzzing with energy and won’t go down as easy.” Roland tugged at EQ's high collar and pouted when Regina didn't say yes. “Oh no, don't fall for it. He always does this. You'll only regret it come midnight when you're running after him.”

  
  


“Exactly what is this... ice cream? An elixir of some sort? Does it magically give you energy? Maybe I should bring some back to our land.”

  
  


Emma and Henry giggled.

  
  


“No. It's a dessert. The unhealthy amounts of sugar in it gives you energy.”

  
  


“Oh.” She pushed back Roland's curly hair and cupped his face. “None for you then, my darling. You need your rest. Would you like a glass of warm milk?”

  
  


Roland, thankfully, just shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.” He ended it with a hug and EQ looked like someone who just saw a litter of puppies.

  
  


Regina knew this as one of Roland's tactic as well. The adorable, angelic kid was actually a conniving little thug. This time she kept quiet to see how the Evil Queen will react. The woman sighed and glanced back at her. “Can we give him at least a tiny cup? I'll take care of him, I promise.”

  
  


Emma and Henry's eyes practically bulged out of their heads. The Evil Queen sounded so maternal, so very much like how Regina was when Henry was a little bit younger. Now that he's a lot older, she could easily see through Henry's bullshit and cuteness. The Evil Queen was apparently immune.

  
  


Regina chuckled. “Well, its frozen solid so we have to thaw it out a little.”

  
  


“After we wash your precious plates, right?” Emma mocked.

  
  


“You know me too well, darling. Please clear the table, Henry?”

  
  


They moved like a well-oiled machine and EQ watched in awe as they finished cleaning up in a matter of minutes. Emma was carrying the plates to the kitchen and Regina followed while Henry took care of the table. Roland was too young to do anything of course so he stayed with the Evil Queen and played with her. After, Emma and Regina came out with the ice cream.

  
  


EQ was a little apprehensive to eat the dessert. They brought out peanut butter fudge and she thought it was just frozen dirt. Emma tried it first to show it wasn't and also because she was too excited to eat it. Her reaction got the Evil Queen in the mood. When she tasted it herself, she was surprised. Earthy and grainy is what she expected but what she got was creamy and delicious. She immediately took another scoop and had to fight the blonde for the tub after hogging it.

  
  


After they met a happy medium on the ice cream, they all retired to the living room and enjoyed a movie. The Evil Queen requested to see how she was portrayed in the movies so they popped in a black and white Snow White. It was so inaccurate that she ended it pissed, causing Roland to leave her lap and crawl towards Emma, even though she was holding the bowl of ice cream.

  
  


When the movie ended, Emma bid goodbye and Regina volunteered to walk her to the door. Once gone, EQ turned to Henry who was still working on his dessert.

  
  


“Henry, dear?”

  
  


“Yes?”

  
  


“Is there something going on between Emma and Regina?” Henry looked up from his bowl and swallowed. It was printed on his face that he's teetering on telling something. Of course, EQ knew that something was going on but she wanted to get the skinny on them from Henry himself.

  
  


He was quiet for a couple moments before he spoke. “I don't think so but.. I want to. They're so stubborn.”

  
  


Her perfectly filled in eyebrows shot up. “You want to?”

  
  


“Yeah, I mean. They're perfect for each other. Once they finally get together, we'll be a family. I want Emma to live here. I want them both to be officially my parents.” Henry rambled and then sighed. Roland went to him, feeling the need to comfort the teenager.

  
  


Initially, the Evil Queen wanted to have fun but this was shaping up to be something bigger. She can actually do something here and make a difference. The evil part of her wanted to scoff but she thought it was actually a nice idea. All these happened because she wanted a happy ending, why not push for it so she finally can? A plan formed in her mind and she smiled. “Henry, do you trust me?”

  
  


“Hmm.. it depends.”

  
  


EQ crossed her arms. “Depends on what?”

  
  


Henry chuckled. “Depends on what you're going to do. I know you, Mom. I know what you look like when you're about to do something. What are you going to do?”

  
  


“I'm going to give Regina her happy ending.”

  
  


“How are you going to do that?”

  
  


“With your help of course.” She heard heels clicking and patted Henry's arm to keep quiet. She also gave Roland a look complete with a finger on her lips. The little boy giggled. He didn't really know what was going on. They could be talking about elephants and cotton candy for all he cared.

  
  


Regina stopped in front of them and saw the conspirators faces immediately. “Oh no, no, no. This isn't happening.”

  
  


The Evil Queen slightly panicked but decided not to show her hand just yet. “Whatever could you be talking about, dear?” She shot Henry a glance and he was tight lipped.

  
  


“I am not getting you more ice cream, Evil Queen, and you are not giving them more.”

  
  


EQ was relieved. “You heard it, boys. No more ice cream. Now, up and ready for bed.” She passed the bowl and Regina went to the kitchen to clean it up. “Dear, this is what we're going to do...”

  
  
  


 


	4. Can I Bite You?

Emma was watching a rerun of Friends when she heard a knock on the door. The clock above the mantle showed 11:30 and she wondered who it could be. Her job as the Saviour and the Sheriff was pretty much 24/7 but the residents of Storybrooke knew better than to fuck with her past 9 PM. The volume of the TV was pretty loud that pretending no one was home would definitely not fly so she dragged herself to the door and checked the peep hole. 

“Regina?” She yanked the door open before thoughts of the Evil Queen eating her little brother fill her head. “What's wrong?”

The bark of the question startled her. “I didn't know there had to be something for me to see you.” Not hearing any reassurance, big green eyes continued to obnoxiously blink at her. “Nothing's wrong, Emma. Can.. I come in?”

Her shoulders dropped. “Oh. Sorry. I thought the Evil Queen did something. Come on in.” She stepped back and they both went in the apartment. “Do you want anything? Water? Wine?”

The Evil Queen, dressed as Regina, shook her head.

“Alright. So, did you want to go over the plan tomorrow or something? It's kind of late but maybe we can over coffee-”

“I didn't come here because of that.” She interrupted. They were already pretty close to each other but with the step that she took, it brought them even closer. Emma's eyes widened but she didn't step back. EQ took this opportunity to take Emma's right hand and caress it with hers. “I wanted to talk about something else. I wanted to talk about us, Emma.”

Emma's mouth dropped a tad. “U-us?”

“I've been... I mean, I realized that I um...” She faked swallowed. She wasn't really nervous, this was fun for her, but Regina in that situation would be. “I think... at the back of my mind I knew but we were with different people at the time so I didn't think this...” Her hands squeezed Emma's. “...would be something. I'm flying blind here because I don't know if you feel the same way and if you don't, that's fine but I just needed to tell you... because I can't lie to myself anymore.”

“Regina...”

EQ exhaled. “I have feelings for you, Emma.”

It was the world stopped spinning. Emma was shocked. The lead up pretty much told her what she was going to say but actually hearing it was a whole different thing. Regina has never been forthcoming with her feelings, she's as guarded as they come so for her to come to her house and lay her heart out in the open, Emma had to ask. “Are you drunk?”

The reaction felt like a slap on the face. The Evil Queen definitely did not expect that. She was a little bit hurt by how Emma reacted that her hands itched to take a heart out. Not Emma's of course, the kids will miss her. She made her face crumple and she dropped the hand she was holding. Some of her personality was enforced and she pulled herself up. “I've had a couple glasses of wine but apparently not nearly enough. I'm going to have to go.” She gave Emma one last look before she turned on her heel and walked the short distance to the door. Like any good romantic comedy, just before she got to turning the knob, she heard a cry from behind.

“Regina, wait!” Emma took large steps and caught up with the woman. Her reaction obviously did not come out how she wanted and she needed to correct that immediately. She grabbed Regina's hand, hoping that she would turn around and not run out. When she didn't, Emma composed her thoughts. She liked Regina, has for a long time. Heck, if she can get over herself, she really loved her. They've been through a lot in and in all of that, Regina has been on her side. Whether a thorn or a rose, she has been on her side. Emma returned her feelings but was scared to take the first step since they were in a good place. They feel like a family. Adding romance to it might put a wedge to that. But what if they could actually be a family? The thought put a smile on her face.

“Now, you're smiling like an idiot. Can you please let me go so I can escape this humiliation?” The Evil Queen took her hand back. “I would appreciate it if you didn't mention this to anyone. I hope this won't affect our relationship because I can forget this ever happened.”

“No, no. I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I was just shocked. You kind of ambushed me.”

EQ huffed. She was right. “Still, that is not how you react to a declaration of feelings.” 

“I know, I know, I'm sorry.” Emma stepped forward and now, it was her chance to close the distance between them. “I'm sorry, Gina. Can we please start over?” Emma continued when she got the nod from the brunette. Now, however, she didn't know what to say. A lot of things were bubbling up and since she has never been good with words, she went with what she's good with. Action. She took another step before her hands softly reached up to Regina's cheek, smoothing down the sharp cheekbone with her thumb. It's a known fact that Regina was beautiful but this close, she was absolutely stunning.

“Emma?”

Still no words from her, just a loving gaze. She flicked down to the red lips before coming back up to the browns. 

Browns that turned darker once she understood what's going to happen. “Emma, tell me at least that you feel something for me more than a friend. I can't kiss you and go back.”

Head still a jumble, Emma went with what words were screaming the most. “I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you.”

“You are?”

Emma nodded. 

“Are you just saying this? Because I swear to god, Emma Swan, if you play with my heart, I will turn yours into dust.”

It gave her comfort knowing that no one can't take out her heart and crush it. But she wasn't kidding. After Emma said it, it felt like everything clicked into place. She did love Regina. More than she thought she did. “I love you. God, I'm an idiot. All this time, I've loved you and I-” Now, both hands cradled her face. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I'm in love with you, Regina. I'm...”

EQ wanted to wince but kept her face shocked. The plan was to tell Emma she had feelings for her and leave. Once the ball was on Emma's side, she'll surely confront Regina and they'll live happily ever after. Maybe. In her defense, it was the idea of their teenager. Originally, what she thought to do was to just lock them both in a room for days without food but that was apparently “inhumane”. Now, she got in way too deep.

“I'm in love with you, Regina.”

Should she? Maybe she should bow out and blame it on the alcohol. Emma was moving forward and was obviously going to kiss her. Should she? Take the first kiss away from Regina? Where is all this conscience coming from? 

“Mmm!”

Emma surged forward and took the chance from her to say anything. She wanted to push her away but damn, Emma lips were just... so soft. Plus, she was still the Evil Queen. It was in her nature to do something wicked. Good thing she was coming back to their land soon. She kissed back and enjoyed the feeling of Emma's lips against hers. The pink thin ones suddenly felt plump and tasted so good. A little salty also, probably from the popcorn that she spied earlier. It was a fucking good combination that Regina opened her mouth and had to taste it with her tongue. She heard Emma moan and it was oddly satisfying.

Their kiss deepened pretty quickly and Emma was able to enjoy just how talented Regina was. She was spicy, sweet and smoky. Weird combination yes but on her, it was the best. She swirled her tongue against Regina's and ended with pressing it on the roof of her mouth. 

EQ's knees trembled and she held on to Emma's shoulder to keep upright. She's had a lot of partners back in the Fairy Tale Land but out of all of them, Emma was proving to be the best kisser. The blonde even threw strategically placed bites that heightened the sensation. If she was going to keep up with this, she needed to at least be sitting down. She pushed on Emma's shoulders and hoped to God that she got the message before they both end up on the floor. Thankfully, Emma pulled her body and she stepped forward. Their movements were a little rickety and unsure, both lost in the kiss but they somehow ended up on the couch. 

The back of Emma's knees bumped on the edge of it and she yanked Regina off of her lips. First thing she did was to take in a breath and swallow. It went unnoticed just how long they were kissing. “Regina... fuck... I want to-”

“What?”

“It's too fast but I can't-” She turned them both and pushed Regina down on the couch. The brunette willingly went and Emma looked down at the un-smeared lipstick. Damn, that's some good formula. She practically ate Regina's mouth. 

“What? Emma? Are you having second thoughts?”

Emma's answer was to sit down on Regina's lap. “Nope. I'm still in love with you. I just... um, your lipstick isn't smudging.” She closed that thought with a kiss to slightly parted lips. 

The Evil Queen's lipstick wasn't smudging because it was magically put on. Will this expose her? No. Emma Swan's tongue was deep in her mouth so it was a good guess that she wouldn't care even if it slapped her in the face. She pulled the blonde's face and continued to kiss her until she could. When it all become too much for her lungs, she tilted her head and presented her neck. All previous fears of cheating Regina out of something evaporated as an overly eager hand made contact with her breast. She growled and clawed at Emma's back, getting under the thin cotton top.

“Can I bite you?”

“What?”

Emma licked the protruding collarbone before sinking her mouth down on it.

Regina screamed before it turned into a whimper. “Emma...”

Then, a loud knock came that made them both turned to the door at the same time. 'I'll get rid of them. Hold on.'

Before she could the door flew open and the real Regina came in. Her mouth dropped with the scene that she stumbled upon. Emma and her evil bitch twin were on the couch. From the looks of Emma's hair and swollen lips, there has definitely been some kissing and god knows what else, really. The Evil Queen was a seductress, yes, and she would understand had she been on top but it was Emma who was. She even looked as if the blonde has her pinned. The next thing she noticed was her twins' appearance, which looked exactly like her.

“What the hell is going on?”


	5. Emma and Regina are sissies

Regina retired early. After the kitchen was cleaned up spic and span, she put the boys to bed and the bigger baby to her room. Her usual routine was done before she finally went to bed and grabbed her favorite book. She's read the Riley Lashea novel a couple of times now but it never fails to make her feel something. She paused on the part where Amelia came to the basement and Regina actually felt giddy just before reading it. It always feels like she has new eyes and she was experiencing the magic all over again.

At about 11:15, she put down her kindle and held her chest. The book made her feel so much that she needed time to just soak it in. She wiped some of the tears that came when Amelia told Caton that she loved her. That was one of her favorite parts. Usually, the three words came really early in a lesbian novel. The stereotype of lesbians moving too fast was alive and well but this novel made her wait. It dragged the sexual tension from the first time they laid eyes on each other up until the last time they got together. 

Because of the book, she was fired up and suddenly full of energy. Regina pulled herself out of bed instead of trying to make herself sleep and went down the hall to check on the children. Henry and Roland slept soundly. She went to the guest bedroom to check on the Evil Queen and found the room dark. She doesn't remember sleeping in darkness. In fact, she made it a point not to sleep in darkness since it fueled her nightmares. She flicked the switch and when light flooded, her eyes widened. 

'Son of a bit-'

She grabbed her coat and with a quick call to Snow about the kids, she was out of the house. Emma's was her first destination since she will be able to help her find the runaway Evil Queen. When she got to the door however, she heard a scream. Panic flooded her system but the scream was quickly followed by a whimper. That's when she surmised that something else was going behind the ugly, pale walls. She knocked first, holding on to a certain modicum of breeding but got over that quickly and forced her way in.

Now, Regina was looking at the two of them, wide eyed from being caught in the act. 

“Regina?” Emma eyes ping ponged from the pissed one at the door and to the one underneath her. “Wait, why are there two of you?” She gasped. “Wait, are you the Evil Queen?”

“No, you idiot! She's the Evil Queen!”

Emma saw small glint of smile on the woman sprawled on her couch. “What the hell?” She sprang away from her. “You came into my house and pretended to be Regina and...” Her hands combed back the unruly hair. “Why?”

“Just what happened?”

EQ got back her composure and stood up as well. She gestured with her hand and with that famous purple smoke, she was back to her usual drag queen look. “I came here and told dear Emma that you have feelings for her.”

Regina almost fainted. “You did what?!”

“I don't understand why people in this land do that. You clearly heard me. What's the point of asking again if-”

She lifted a finger. “Hush! Why would you do this? Do you think messing with our lives is fun?!”

Regina's forehead vein was almost popping while EQ was as cool as a cucumber. This was all for a good cause after all. “You really need to calm down, dear. I did this for you.”

The insinuation made her blush and she turned to Emma. “I did not make her do this.” She walked up to EQ. “What the hell are you talking about?”

EQ rolled her eyes, annoyed the dramatics of it all. “Emma told me she loves you.”

Now, Emma blushed. Regina snapped her head to the blonde and blinked rapidly. “You told her what?” She said softly. 

Emma stammered as she tried to explain herself. “I-i... Well, I was-she was-She came at me and told me and I-”

“Did you really tell her you love me?”

Emma's version of Regina's forehead vein was a deep taint of red on her neck and chest. She physically shrunk from the pressure and curled in on herself. This isn't how she wanted it to go and now, she's nothing but incredibly embarrassed. When Emma Swan was embarrassed, there's one thing she always resorts to. She leaves. So she grabbed her popcorn and left the two Regina’s in the living room to hash this all out.

“See? This is exactly why I had to intervene. You both are sissies.” She pointed to Regina. “You have been so hurt that you refuse to love anymore. You think everyone is going to leave you eventually so you don't take a chance on anyone. But anyone with eyes can see that you love Emma, dear. You look at that blonde twit like your precious red pepper flakes just before you stir them in your lasagna.” Next, she pointed to Emma. “Your problem, dear Sheriff, is that you're afraid. You're afraid of being with a woman, number one. You're afraid of rocking the proverbial boat, number two and you're afraid that Regina will be too intense for you. You have not been in control most of your life and the thought of being with her is terrifying. I saw you earlier when you caught us, you were jealous and you didn't do anything.” EQ marched over to Regina and grabbed her by the shoulders. “What are you going to do when I do this?” Harshly, she pulled Regina to her body and kissed the crap out of her.

Regina landed on the EQ's body with a yelp. The evil twin pressed her lips towards hers and for a couple still moments she was frozen. When the sensation kicked in, she started to push her away but for some reason the Evil Queen was much stronger than her. The kiss was harsh at first but as they both settled into it, it turned softer and as weird as it sounds, loving. Regina's push turned into a pull as she snaked her arms around the Evil Queen's neck. EQ retaliated with hands on her back that made her thrust her body forwards. It amazed Regina how her body just easily surrendered to the Evil Queen and she was powerless to stop it. 

When the Evil Queen was sure Regina was under her spell, she broke off the kiss and asked Emma. “You're not going to do anything, Sheriff?” Regina pulled her head back and she gave her neck. She maintained eye contact with the blonde as one hand lifted Regina's coat. She felt silk underneath and grinned when she realized that she had no chance to change out of her night gown. Good. Easy access. Her palm made contact with the soft, silky skin and she was startled when Regina bit her neck. “Naughty girl.”

Sure, there was nothing hotter than Regina getting it on with Regina but past her raging libido, Emma saw what this is. Someone else kissing the woman she loved. The Evil Queen was right. She was scared. Terrified, even on all accounts. She can't even imagine what her parents reaction would be like if they knew about this. The bi thing they could easily get past since she was sure Snow and Charming have both diddled in same sexes, the fact that it is Regina is the problem. 

The Evil Queen's hand officially got under the coat and from how Regina's head titled back, she could only guess what was happening. She sucked in a breath. Fuck fear, fuck what her parents would think, fuck what the world would think. This is her chance at a happy ending and she's not going to let this go because she's afraid. Rage swirled in her body as her courage gathered and propelled her forward. 

Her partner was yanked backwards and pushed away with a hand to her chest, again. Regina's eyes opened and focused on what interrupted their hot and heavy make out session. “Emma?”

“Please stop kissing her.” She said to Regina. 

Regina swallowed, trying to get her breathing under control. “What?”

'I love you, Regina.'

EQ rolled her eyes up and lifted her hands, as if praising the declaration. “Finally! Can I go home now so you can consummate this relationship?”

Regina recovered and she stared at Emma like she's grown adorable two heads. “Emma...”

“I'm pretty sure that the Evil Bitch was-”

“Okay, at least be a little creative with the name calling.” EQ chided.

Emma growled. “...was shitting me when she told me that you have feelings for me but that's okay. I understand if you only see me as a friend and this might totally make things awkward between us and oh my god, why did I even my mouth! This is your fault!” She threw a pointed glare to the Evil Queen.

“Aside from the chin, I can see the idiot blood in you, Emma.”

Regina ignored the Evil Queen and took Emma's hand, much like how EQ did earlier. “Emma, she wasn't wrong. I.. I do have feelings for you. I have for a little while now. She was right, I didn't want to love again. I've been hurt too much and you haven't actually been forthcoming with your bisexuality. I couldn't embarrass myself like that.”

Emma looked at her incredulously. “Seriously? I've been lusting after Ruby for quite some time! How come you never noticed?'

“You have?” Regina asked with an eyebrow raised. As if they were actually together already.

“Yeah... but... I was more interested in you. I guess I was a little subtle.”

EQ had taken it upon herself to add more alcohol to the moment and grabbed herself a glass of wine. It has gone from interesting to boring and she needed something else to keep her from bolting out of the door. She watched as the two idiots looked at each other with gooey eyes. 

Regina smiled. “You were.”

“Hey! And so were you.”

EQ took a big swig. “Good God.”

“You'd think someone would get true love from me giving you all good memories, huh?” 

“And you'd think someone would get true love from me sacrificing myself just so you won't be evil again?”

EQ piped up. “You both did that for each other and no one noticed just how much that screams love?” but again she went ignored. 

“I love you, Regina and if you have feelings for me, maybe we can-” She was cut off when Regina jumped at her and kissed her squarely on the lips. As soon as their lips touched, blinding white light exploded behind their eyelids. Warmth traveled throughout their body and it felt as if the final piece of their puzzle locked into placed. 

As they kissed, they felt a strong surge of love engulf them. Regina felt lighter, the remaining darkness in her soul quieted by the white light that Emma had. Emma, someone who always felt like she's alone, finally felt at peace and finally felt whole. Together, they gave what each other needed to finally be complete. The kiss ended with three soft pecks and their eyes shined with hope as they looked at the each other.

“True love's kiss?”

Regina nodded. “True love's kiss.” Fresh tears finally dropped to her cheek when she hugged Emma afterwards. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Yes, yes, we get it.” She finished her third glass. “Can we go home now? I need my beauty sleep.”

Still connected, Emma easily gave Regina a kiss. “I'd ask you to stay but I can't promise to keep my hands to myself.” She whispered. 

“Who said I'd stop you?”

Emma closed her eyes and tried not to think of how explosive their first time would be. The person she was before, also known as the one drunk in her kitchen, used sex as a weapon. She's going to be really lucky to come out alive and walking. “Don't say that, babe. I'm getting really tempted.”

“Babe?” Regina chuckled. “Are we there already?”

“We wasted so much time.”

They kissed again and broke off when they heard the front door close. “As much as I don't want you to leave right now, the kids are at home... being taken care of by your mother.” She winced. Snow would lose her shit if she knew. Since they didn't break a curse or anything, the magic didn't manifest town or land wide. Hopefully, Snow can't get true love psychic vibes or else it would be a really long night. “We need to talk more. See me tomorrow?”

“Of course. Now, go. Find your evil twin.” Emma gave one last kiss before she reluctantly let go. “Thank her for me alright?”

“Now that's something I never thought I'd hear.”


	6. Lesbian Kissing Fest

“We've been walking here for hours, are you sure there's a Seer here?” It was the next morning and a bunch of the important players in Storybrooke made the effort to accompany Emma. Snow, having been pulled out of bed at the middle of the night, was predictably irritated that they've been walking for almost two hours and haven't found the last missing ingredient. Regina was there too, for support and to sneak glances at Emma like a love struck teenager. Emma has been doing the same but a little less subtle since she was just straight up looking. “We've been walking for hours now.”

It was Nova who told them about it and she was currently still happy and prancing, like any good fairy. “I'm sure, Snow. We're close to her charming little cabin. Don't worry.” She threw in a smile but Snow only rolled her eyes when a branch hit her in the face.

“Mom, do you want to stay here with Dad? I could just go with Ruby and Nova.”

Snow shook her head. “We've come this far, I'm going. This is good for me. God, I hope Granny can handle the terrible twins.”

“I would have been fine looking after them.” EQ added. She was still in her usual gown and was keeping up with the pace. Even Regina went with riding boots so that's saying something. 

“I am not leaving my babies with you, you evil cun-”

“Mom, please.” Emma stopped. “Dad, can you just both wait here? I'll take Ruby and you both take cover. It's fine.”

David assessed his daughter. “You sure you're going to be okay with them?” He was pertaining to the Regina’s.

“I'm sure. I can handle both of them.” Emma smirked Regina's way.

“Well, alright.” Snow sighed and leaned on a tree. “We'll stay here and you get her home. Regina, you are in our side, right?”

Regina indulged her since she will be dating her daughter pretty soon. “I am on your side, Snow. Don't worry, well get the Evil Queen home.” She smiled at Snow, relishing the last few moments that they were on good terms.

“Great. I trust you.” Snow hugged Regina briefly.

“This is extremely unusual for me.” EQ added.

“We'll see you in a few hours, Mom...depending on how far this Seer is.” The mother and daughter briefly hugged. “Dad?” David opted for a reassuring shoulder grab, manly as ever. “Let's go?”

Ruby, Regina, Nova, The Evil Queen and Emma started walking towards the path to the damn seer. 10 minutes in, Emma sidled next to Regina and took her hand. Regina uncharacteristically blushed when Emma squeezed her hand. “Is this okay?”

“Yes, it is.”

“I love you.” She whispered and laid a kiss on Regina's cheek. 

“Whoa, what just happened between you two?” Ruby stopped when she saw what happened. “Why are you two kissing?” She gasped. “Snow is going to shit her pants, holy fuck.”

Emma pinched her best friend. “Do not tell anyone, okay? I know you can't keep your mouth shut but please try, for me. Your best friend.” In hopes of being adorable, she blinked her eyes rapidly. Regina smiled to herself and enjoyed Emma's childish antics. 

“Noooo...” Ruby stamped like a toddler. “When you tell me I can't do anything, it only makes me want to do it! Also, Snow is my best friend.”

“Very mature.” Regina said under her breath. “You can control yourself, right, Ruby?” 

She pouted. “Okay fine. I'm not going to tell.” They all started walking again. “I'm really curious how this both happened by the way. I know both of you would rather keel over and die before admitting you love each other.”

“You aren't wrong, wolf. I had a hand in this. A big one.”

Ruby went to the Evil Queen and looped her hands on hers. “Tell me.”

She patted the hand of the wolf. “I pretended to be Regina and went to Emma, telling her just what Regina felt. I was going to end it there but our Sheriff pounced on me and kissed me breathless.” Ruby gasped and the blonde glowered. 'I was not planning on getting physical with her but she was quite adamant that something happens. She had me pinned under her on the couch! Just before our dear Sheriff here got under my clothing, Regina arrived.”

“Clit block.”

“Isn’t that that truth. Regina was angered over the situation and only calmed down when I told her that Emma loved her.” Ruby produced an 'Aww'. “That should've ended there but they still stumbled through their words until they finally kissed. A true love's kiss. Can you imagine that? My true love is the daughter of my greatest enemy. One for the books, I'd say. I regret I won't get to see Snow's reaction about it all though.”

“Can I somehow tell you? because I want to, how can I do that?”

Ruby looked at her like a submissive puppy. Interesting. She stepped in front of Ruby and they almost collided. Her free hand traced the soft face. “You've intrigued me for years now, wolf. I've always wanted you to be aligned with me, become my little pet.”

The fair cheeks turned pink. “Yeah?”

“Always. You're so beautiful...”

Emma leaned in. “Babe, were you always like this?” Regina's answer was just an oops shrug.

EQ focused on the grey/green eyes. Since she was obviously interested, it was easy to get her under that famous spell. Ruby's shoulder dropped when she held gaze and she slowly leaned in to kiss the fire red lips. Ruby curled to her body, throwing her arms on the long neck and was practically hanging off of her in a snap. It was quicker than usual, the buildup gone when Ruby whipped her tongue out and meshed it with hers.

Regina was so embarrassed with how her evil twin was acting that she hid her face on the blonde's shoulder. Emma was watching intently and found it hot. Nova was oblivious on what was happening and only got caught up when she tripped on a tree root. When she turned around and saw what was happening, she immediately shied away. “Oh! What's happening here?”

“Ruby is getting it on with the Evil Queen.”

“I can see that but... why? Doesn't she know it's dangerous?”

Regina stepped forward and pulled EQ away. “Can you please stop kissing people? It's really ruining my reputation.”

“Oh, don't be jealous, dear.” She grabbed Regina and kissed her too.

That was when Emma moved forward and got in. “Alright, alright, let's stop this lesbian kissing fest and just get a move on okay? Don't kiss me... or Nova.”

The fairy squeaked.

“Are you telling me you didn't enjoy that, Sheriff?”

Emma grinned. “Oh, I did.. but we really need to move. You can kiss all the girls back in your land.”

“I already did. Ruby, walk with me?”

Ruby wholeheartedly agreed and they started their journey again. After a half an hour more of walking, they finally reached the dilapidated little cabin that was right out of cheesy horror movies. Nova titled her head to the side, this was not how she saw this last.

“Ah, I can see why one would call this “charming”.” 

“Looks like no one has lived here for a while.”

Nova went around and felt for signs of life. She cleaned the dust from the window and peeked inside. The furnitures were covered in white sheets and looked just as dusty. She tried to yank the door. It was open because who would think to rob a property hours away from humanity. Nova stepped in and checked out the place. No pictures on the fridge and obviously no mail on the counter. Further in, she saw broken floor boards.

“Boo!” Emma shouted.

Nova dropped on the floor and felt like her heart did too. Emma was laughing when she looked up. “That was mean, Sheriff.”

It took a while for Emma's laughter to die down. “Sorry, Nova. I couldn't not do it. So, nothing here?”

Regina answered. “Nothing. I don't sense another person here. Ruby, do you smell someone?”

The wolf sniffed but instead of smelling another person, she smelled something a little more naughty. She glanced up at the Evil Queen and winked. “Nope. No other smell aside from... us.”

“Emma, find some clues. Nova, what did you gather from the time you two were friends?”

“She was shy at first but nice, very warm once you get to know her. She wasn't really a talker but when she would, she'd speak in riddles. She was a poet, I think, or maybe a pot head. There are lots of greens surrounding her.” Nova gulped when she saw Regina raise her eyebrow in annoyance. “Okay, when we would talk it's all about her love of dancing. Lots of dancing. Maybe she went to town to be a ballet dancer? Or a PE teacher? Although, if that happened, I would've surely ran into her. We don't have theater or a dance studio that she could apply in. You should really make an effort to focus more on the arts, Mayor. I mean, when-when you're not busy you know battling villains.”

Emma went out of a room just in time because Regina looked like she was going to eat Nova. “Look what I found.” She held it up for everyone to see and everyone aside from the Evil Queen went a little red in the face. “I think I know where our dear Seer is. My mom and dad are not coming this time.”


	7. Goldi...licks?

“Goldi...licks?” Emma looked at Regina incredulously. “You granted a business permit with that name?”

“Dear, I cannot control the name of the businesses.”

The blonde scoffed. “You just think it's clever.”

“Perhaps.”

“What is this place?” In an effort to make her blend in, they made the Evil Queen wear something particularly non-descript. Grey pants and a black turtle neck. This was complete with a big Audrey Hepburn glasses and her hair in a bun. “Why are there so many inebriated people? I can feel myself itching just being close to these commoners.”

“We're in a strip club.” Ruby added.

“A strip club?”

The wolf came closer and talked directly to her ear. “This is a place where women dance naked. I'll give you a show later if you're interested.”

The Evil Queen moaned and leaned to her. “I am definitely interested in that. Come home with me?”

“Can't wait.”

“Let's just come in before something happens between the two of you. Ruby, seriously?” Emma ushered them all in.

Ruby shrugged. “What? She's hot.”

The first thing that assaulted them was the loud, thumping music. Then the smell of sweat and a barrage of cheap perfume. Came next were the naked bodies on top of counters lined with pink velvet. Some of the patrons glared at them and some hid their faces upon seeing the Mayor and the Sheriff. The Deputy not so much since she's been here a couple times. They saw an empty table and all sat down, still looking around.

“Why have we been here just now?” The Evil Queen was so impressed with what she was seeing.

Regina ignored that. “Nova, darling, can you please look around for the Seer?”

Nova had her head tucked down but had to force herself to look. She inventoried every single gyrating body in the place, checking their faces and hair. The last determining factor was her blue grey eyes but in this lighting, it was really difficult to tell. After everyone was accounted for, she shook her head to the Mayor.

“Alright. I'll go talk to the Manager. What name was she using in this land?”

“Sierra.”

Emma chuckled. “A little on the nose.”

Regina stood up and went to the back. A naked waitress approached them while she was gone. “Hey ya'll, what would you like?” The waitress stood next to the Evil Queen and played with her shoulder. Ruby almost growled. 

“Nothing. We're looking for someone actually and I hope you can help us.”

She transferred to Emma next. “For the Sheriff, anything.”

“We're looking for...”

“Ladies and Gentleman, Sierra!” The lights came up and gorgeous red head came out. The music changed to a much more sensual one and she started moving her body to it, gripping the pole as she did. The waitress walked off when she noticed that they found out who they were looking for.

They all watched as the red head twisted and turned her body, tearing the already tiny pieces of clothing she had on. Her top cover up was slingshot to the audience and it left her with a bikini top. Her mini skirt was next and for this, she threw it to an eager costumer who's been waving at her.

“That's her?” Regina asked when she came back. 

“Yup.”

The beat dropped and she pulled the string of the garment, freeing ample sized breasts topped with peach nipples. The whole table collectively dropped their mouths as soon as they saw this. Her breasts jiggled as she moved with the music and wrapped her legs on the pole. She whipped her hair next and licked her lips slowly, making sure everyone saw it. Before the music ended, she picked the strings of her bikini bottom and tugged on it softly. It loosened and eventually dropped to the floor, sending the audience howling.

Nova was conservative, obviously, so she hid her eyes behind her hands. Regina and Emma was neutral about it while the Evil Queen and Ruby enjoyed the whole thing. A couple more moments and the music died and Sierra got off the stage.

“Well, that was certainly interesting.” The Evil Queen noted. “I'm going to have these kind of establishments back home.”

“Why would you do that when you have chamber maids that will get undressed on your comma-” Regina didn't finish her statement and coughed instead when she heard what she was saying. “Anyway, the manager said that we can go back and talk to her after her set. That was her last for the night. Let's go.”

They all piled into a long black hallway and stopped before a room that had a plate with the words 'Dancers' etched into it. Regina was first and she opened the door. Light flooded her eyes and when she blinked open, she saw more naked bodies. Some winked at her, some checked her out.

“Maybe, maybe, well stay outside and you can fetch her?” Nova walked back out.

“I'm staying.” EQ announced. 

“Everybody else, out.”

The twins approached the woman who was toweling the sweat off her body. The woman looked up at them and her eyes widened. “Madam Mayor?”

“Hello dear.”

EQ pushed Regina back and held out her hand, a little too eagerly. “Hello, darling. You've got some nice... moves.”

Sierra smiled proudly. “Thanks! Can I know your name?”

“Please ignore her. May we talk to you outside? Once you've put on clothes, of course.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“No, no... we just want something from you.” Sierra suggestively raised one eyebrow. “Not-! Not that, We'll explain, if you'll come with us. No one will touch you inappropriately or make you uncomfortable.” She threw a thumb back at the Evil Queen. “I'll hold her down.”

“She's hot. Honestly, I don't mind.”

“Great. We'll wait outside?”

“Sure. I'll be right out.”

Regina had to physically pull her twin to get out of the room. They went back to the table and got settled in. “Is anybody hungry? It's already about nine.”

“I could eat.” Emma answered. She ate before they left but of course Emma had some space left. She called a naked waitress and ordered the standard, burger and fries for her, chicken salad for Regina and the evil twin. Ruby ordered a burrito and Nova ordered a chicken burger. 

Their food came the same time as Sierra who now dressed in an outfit not fitting of what she usually does. She was too covered up. Emma pulled out a seat for her and she gave everyone at the table a smile. 

“Do you want anything, dear?”

“No, I'm fine. Thank you.” She turned to her left and finally noticed Nova. “Oh hey, Nova. You're with them?” Nova only nodded, mouth full of food. “Okay, so what is this about?”

Regina swallowed before she started. “The Evil Queen was brought to this land a couple weeks ago. Now that the reason for it has already been fulfilled, we need to send her back. The only way we can do that is through a spell. One of the requisites of said spell is something you can give us.”

Sierra nodded. “You know, I saw that coming.”

Emma eyebrows furrowed. “Is that a seer joke? Did you actually see us coming?”

“Through the window of the dressing room but magically, no.”

“Anyway, we just need your tear and the Evil Queen will be on her merry way.” Regina pulled out a vial that shimmered in the low lighting. “It didn't not specify if it needed to be from a painful experience so maybe we can tickle you until you cry of laughter. Or you can cry naturally too, if you'd prefer. We will really appreciate the help, Sierra.”

“Just a tear. That wouldn't be hard since I carry a blackness of heart.” Sierra took a deep breath before she concentrated.

“That's really why you shouldn't smoke.” Ruby shrugged.

EQ patted Ruby's hand. “Dear, heart, not lungs.”

Sierra's lips trembled as she gathered all of the said darkness and she asked for the vial. She placed it right below her eye, just in time for the solidary droplet to land inside the container. The surrounding glass glowed and Regina quickly pushed the cork in to trap the power. 

The Mayor was able to breathe in relief. The Evil Queen is finally going home and order can be restored again. The town currently has no villains so they can finally focus on rebuilding. She and Emma have been in and out of Storybrooke trying to battle the baddies, leaving the real problems in the town forgotten at the moment. The economy was weak and the school was a mess. The one good thing was that the crime rate from the actual residents were close to zero. Aside from all that, she can finally visit the idea of furthering things with Emma. Maybe they can even date properly. “That's it. Thank you for your help, Sierra.”

“Sure, Mayor.”

“Let's all go home them and prepare for tomorrow-”

“Let's get drunk.” EQ suggested.

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose. She was starting to feel like the mother of a overly sexed, overly hyped up teenager. “No. We're all going home, we'll get to bed and-”

EQ wolf whistled one of the waitress. “Darling, a round of, Ruby what is it, Margarita!”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I'm leaving tomorrow so why not spend my last night here having fun? We don't have this back in our land, lest your forget.”

Regina hissed. “I am not going to be around for this and you aren't either!”

“I am and you will. Everyone's going to notice that we look alike once I take off these glasses. Embarrassing you in this realm will be easy, maybe I'd even give dear Ruby a lap dance. So you will stay here and enjoy with me. Is that clear?”

“You evil bitch!”

Regina flew out of her seat but Emma got to her just in time and held her down. “Regina, babe, calm down. I'm here and we'll have a good time, okay? We owe her our relationship, let this be our payment.” She rubbed her shoulder and gave a soft kiss to the cheek. “We're going to have the rest of our lives because of her.”

It did the deed. “Well, when you put it that way.” She turned her head and kissed Emma on the lips. “The kids are with Snow, do you want to maybe... when we get home?”

“As much as I want to, I would prefer to be our first time after an actual date. Not after a strip club.. That okay?”

“You're so sweet.” Her hand on Emma's face, they kissed more firmly. Someone near them saw what was happening and hooted. This caused them to quickly break apart. 

“Don't worry. They're all drunk, no one's going to tell.”

“Hey love birds, if you're both done sucking each other faces, bottoms up.” EQ pushed two margaritas to them and finished the one she was holding. She quickly followed it up with another one and was treating the fully filled Margarita glass like shots.

This worried Regina even though her body had a high tolerance from drinking potent drinks from back in her time. There's a high chance of something going wrong so she decided to skip on the Margaritas and probably-

“Wine?”

Emma handed her a glass of her favorite red and it turned Regina on immensely. She could've read her mind by how in tune the blonde was to her was something else. She took the glass and put it down on the table before throwing her arms around Emma and kissing her hard. 

“See? She isn't even drunk yet. Just get a couple drinks in her and she'll practically hump our dear Sheriff. I should know, she's me.” EQ and Ruby clicked their glasses and down the hatch went the alcohol. She picked up a fry and fed it to Ruby, who not only ate the fry but also pulled it into her mouth. An eager tongue licked the finger raw before it was given back to her. 

“Or you can just hump me...” Ruby salaciously added. 

“Trust me, dearest. I'll do more than that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for you sending kudos and comments! :)


	8. Magical Foursome

Regina groaned before she even opened her eyes. She rubbed her eye with the back of her wrist, trying to rid it of the cloudiness that she will sure encounter. The next thing she felt was the headache kicking in. She never got hangover because she's always been wary of just how much alcohol she consumes. A good measure she seemed to have deliberately ignored last night. 

Last night.

What the hell happened last night?

The event came back to her in flashes. Her drinking at least a bottle of cheap wine. Emma drinking beer. Ruby and the Evil Queen drinking everything that was offered in front of them. Nova and Sierra laughing at everyone's drunk ass. The Evil Queen sufficiently got tanked after the seventh shot of vodka that came after the five glasses of Margarita. She started dancing on her chair and eventually went to Ruby's. Some sexy music came on and she did give Ruby a lap dance. At that point, Regina was also a little inebriated that she decided to let it go. Ruby got a little handsy and got more than second base. That was the worst of it, at least.

Then another flash. Lots of kissing. She winced. The Evil Queen went around the table and sat on their laps, kissing everyone deeply. Even meek little Nova got kissed. As soon as she had her first taste of a woman, she was hooked. She went in for seconds, pleasing the Evil Queen. Emma was a little more conservative kissing and only indulged her. She remembers Emma saying she was sorry for even doing it. This earned the blonde another True Loves kiss from her.

Was that all?

Another unfortunate flash came. This time, bodies gyrating. Clothed but still. They took their party to the stage and gave everyone a show by doing the faux lesbian dance except Regina was pretty sure that night, everyone was. By this time, Regina's fully let go. The patrons were even more drunk than her and she can bet her ass that no one would remember this come morning. Except she did. She groaned again.

A hand snaked around her torso and her eyes popped open. She noticed two things. One, she was, obviously, in bed with someone. Two, she was naked. The raging headache came back and she had to close her eyes again. “Whoever you are, make yourself known.” She fears she had sex with The Evil Queen. It wasn't the worst thing in the world. Honestly, it would be fantastic but now that she's professed her love to Emma, it would feel like cheating.

“Baby, it's me. Don't worry. My head hurts.”

It's Emma. Hallefuckinglujah. “Thank God. I thought I had sex with my twin. I would not want my life to be straight out of porn.”

“That's going to be so hot though. I got a lady boner when she kissed you. Crap, do you have a Midol or something? It feels like my head is being split open.”

Regina slapped her hand on Emma's forehead and concentrated the best she can to magic away the headache. It took her a couple tries but she was finally able to cure it.

Emma moaned when the feeling went away. “I fucking love you, Regina.”

“Did we have sex last night?”

Emma opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. She tried to remember. “No. We just got naked. Wait.” She lifted the white sheet and checked out the brunette's body. Long smooth legs, a perfectly waxed landing strip, toned abs and shapely breasts topped with reddish brown nipples. “You're so hot.”

“Thank you, darling.” Unlike Emma, she can't heal herself. It's a magic quirk that she never understood. There was a legitimate jackhammer on her head now and it was pounding really hard.

“Come here. We'll cuddle the pain away.” Emma took the woman in her arms. 

Regina willingly went and hugged Emma's middle. As their bodies aligned, their breasts smooshed. Headache or not, that was something that she cannot ignore. Their legs tangled and she felt the one of Emma's muscled legs slide in between hers. It grazed her center and she felt a pang of arousal. “This feels nice.”

“Yeah.” Her palms ran up and down Regina's back. For almost a half an hour, they melted into the embrace. Emma was already falling asleep again when she felt Regina moving against her. She opened just one eye and sensed the brunette's movement. She was moving her hips. “Babe?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you pee on my leg?” She asked because she felt wetness.

Regina chuckled slightly. “You really are an idiot sometimes, Emma Swan. I'm wet.”

Emma's mouth dropped open. “Oh... oh, you're... you're trying to have sex with me.” She giggled and met her thrusts. Regina gasped and clawed on her back.

“I'm not doing this for my headache to go away, Em. And I know you wanted our first time to be magical but you're here in my bed, naked. A girl can only take so much.” She pushed Emma down the bed and got on top, her default setting when it came to sex. She propped herself with her two elbows, looking down the beautiful creature beneath her. At the moment, her heart felt like it would explode from happiness. She loved Emma with her everything. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Emma reached up and pulled Regina down for a kiss. Emma's leg slid up further in time with her tongue entering Regina's mouth. The woman's hips worked, pumping up and down. More wetness was smeared to her and she could feel her clit making contact with every pass. The feeling propelled her hand to move to the breast and she grabbed a handful. The nipple was hard in her hand and after getting a good kneading, she focused on the nub, twisting and pulling it between two fingers. Regina arched her back and the kiss broke.

“Emma...” Her pace picked up. It was a little embarrassing how close she was already but she had no choice but to answer to the need. “God, Emma... Suck on my nipple.”

“Shit, fuc... okay...” Hearing Regina utter those words were such a turn on. She maneuvered her torso and when in the perfect position, lips latched on the hard nipple. She lapped her tongue around it once before she sucked. Regina moaned, loud. A quick prayer was said that the bedroom was sound proof because that moan could probably be heard from Granny's.

Regina was getting really close so instead of long strokes, she kept her movements concise. “I'm so... So close... Emma....” She bit her bottom lip, rendering herself unable to speak so she just grabbed one of Emma's hand and pointed it in between her legs. The blonde was quick to pick up and she lifted her hips from the leg, opening herself up. There was no preamble when Emma filled her two fingers and her entire body vibrated. She sat up and gasped the feeling too overwhelming.

“You're so wet, shit...” Like silk and velvety, being inside Regina was amazing. Emma couldn’t stop herself from adapting a rhythm even if it was all too fast. For their first time, she expected it to last be longer than this, preferably under the stars. Whatever. They had the rest of their lives to do that and more. Regina's body came down, seeking her lips as her hips bounced. It was all becoming to be too much now and Emma didn't know if she can hold off her own orgasm. Just seeing Regina get herself off was enough. “Baby...”

“Emma, I'm coming... I'm- Emma!” Fireworks exploded behind Regina's eyelids as a strong wave of pleasure crashed throughout her body, engulfing her entirely, causing her to twist her hands on the sheets beside her and curl her toes. It's never been this good with anyone else. Nobody has ever gotten her this wet and made her come this hard. Emma Swan was something else. 

When the feeling finally passed, she held on to Emma basked in her presence.

“I love you, Regina. So much.”

“I love you too.”

Emma cradled Regina's head and gave her a brief kiss. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Regina could only smile. “Are you hungry?”

“Is that a come on?”

“No... it's morning and you're usually hungry.” Regina pushed herself off and lay beside Emma. “I notice the amount of bear claws you eat in the morning, darling. That flat little tummy...” She pointed to it. “...must be hungry right now.”

Emma pushed the hand down. “I'm hungry for you...”

“Oh, really...” Soft hairs greeted her fingers and she followed its path to where Emma wanted her. Just as she was, Emma was insanely wet as well. 

“Gina... Please, I won't last long.” She spread her legs in anticipation.

Regina didn't make her wait. She circled her clit a couple times before she sheathed her fingers inside. Emma was so wet that she wasn't met with any resistance and she quickly set the pace. Being so close to her mouth, Regina sunk her teeth down on Emma's neck.

“Fuck!” Emma's hip came up higher and pulled the fingers deeper. This chance was obviously taken by Regina as she felt harder pressure. “Baby... God, that feels so good...” She closed her eyes and let the feeling consume her.

“Are you close, Emma?”

“Almost there.. I'm almost.. I'm-” Emma sharply gasped as she came. Her back bowed and only dropped when she came down from her orgasm. She was breathing hard, trying to get some air to her lungs. Hopefully, some water to her mouth as well since it felt like a desert. What they did was relatively simple but it was as mind blowing as she thought it would be. If this is going to be how it is, she cannot wait for the next time Regina touches her. 

Regina took back her fingers and smeared it on Emma's sinewy shoulder. The skin glistened from Emma's essence, making Regina salivate. “Tilt your head up, darling.” When Emma did, she licked the skin and moaned when the taste exploded in her mouth. In every single aspect, Emma Swan was delicious. 

“That tickles...”

“I'm so mad at myself for waiting so long. We could've done this years ago.”

“We're here now, that's all that matters.”

They kissed for the last time before Emma got up and went to the bathroom. Regina stood up as well and put her robe on, now desperate for some coffee. Some pancakes and greasy bacon were also up for the blonde since she's definitely earned it. “Darling, I'm going to make us some breakfast. I'll be right back.” Regina stretched like a cat before she pulled the door open and got out of the room. Down the hall, she heard a door open as well.

“Oh. Good morning, dear.”

It was the Evil Queen, already looking perfect “Evil Queen, good morning. Did Ruby and the rest go home okay?” She honestly can't remember. After the show they put on, everything registered as a blur. It was a miracle they even came home and was put in their correct rooms. EQ was poised to answer when Ruby came out of her room holding a sheet around her body. Regina's mouth dropped. “You slept with her?”

“Good morning.” Ruby answered sheepishly.

“I did. Good morning, darling.” She kissed Ruby and grabbed her ass while she was at it.

Ruby giggled when a finger slipped between her butt cheeks. “Baby... stop...”

“Oh my god.” She said horrified. Was this really her? The door opened a little more and another one came out, this one completely naked still. “Sierra?!”

Sierra blushed upon seeing the Mayor. “Good morning, mayor.” She didn't make an effort to hide her body and focused on the Evil Queen instead. “Come back to bed, please?”

“You slept with her too?!” Regina was on the verge of a heart attack.

“Regina, dear. It's morning, use your inside voice.”

“Why are you all here? We're not finished yet-”

Regina just about died when she saw Nova came out. Ruby and Sierra she can understand but Nova? Sweet, innocent Nova? Her body sagged and she held on to the wall beside her. “You slept with all of them? Wha.. How.. All of them?!”

The Evil Queen urged everyone to come back to the room. She walked to Regina and held her up. “Are you jealous? I've not been sent back yet, you can join us. Bring your precious Sheriff as well.”

She pushed off. “What? No! Why.. God, you corrupted Nova. I can't believe this is happening.”

“I've just shown her a side she didn't even believe existed. You did this a lot back in our land remember? Those innocent chamber maids, you awoken their lesbian spirits.”

“You won't remember any of this, Evil Queen! They will!” She took a deep breath. “For the time being, you are not allowed to turn anyone gay anymore. Understood?”

The Evil Queen bit her lips. “If you give me a kiss...”

Regina shook her head and stomped down the staircase. “Why are you so horny?!”

-

To rid herself of the image she just had, Regina went straight to the kitchen and started cooking up breakfast for six. She may not be able to look these women in the eye anymore but Regina was still a damn good hostess. It was imperative that they left with full stomachs. Halfway through the pancake, she heard a door close. From the shorter distance and the obnoxiously loud sounds of feet coming down the stairs, she knew exactly who it was.

“Something smells amazing.”

Hands wrapped around her waist and settled back on the freshly scrubbed body. “The pancakes?”

“No. You.”

“Such a sweet talker, you.” Emma kissed her neck. “There's coffee. Help yourself.”

Emma went to the fancy coffee maker and composed herself before she even touched it. She already made that mistake once and between Regina's disappointment and the burn she had on her hand, never again. Once she gathered her wits, she pulled the carafe from the body of the machine and poured herself a cup. It was better than Granny's for sure. “Have you seen the Evil Queen yet?”

“I did.”

“Did you see... them then?”

Regina swung back with a spatula in her hand. “You knew?”

“That they all went to one room and probably had an orgy? Yes. You were black out drunk by then. You even puked-”

“I what?”

Emma cringed. “That's why you were naked, baby. I cleaned you up in the tub. I also got naked cause you kind of puked on me too.” Regina dropped her head in embarrassment. “It's fine, Regina. It wasn't that gross once I got you naked.”

A laugh shot out of her. “I'm sorry our first time was after I puked on you.”

“It wasn't ideal but if our whole relationship hasn't been. We'll have our moment, I promise.”

Regina sighed. “I promise to wine and dine you, if you'd like to go on a date with me.”

“That ask was so smooth, babe. Of course, I'll go on a date with you. Just tell me when.”

They both smiled at each before Regina turned back to her pancakes. The one on the stove thankfully didn't burn and she transferred it on a plate. More batter was cooked and once the stack was high enough for all of them, Regina handed it to Emma to bring to the dining room. There was already bacon and eggs in there and Regina knew that Emma was helping herself to a few pieces. The toast was the last to go and after it was assembled on a long plate, she was out of the kitchen. She heard low chatter right before she came out and was surprised to see that everyone was already at the table. Everyone looked up at her. “Good morning, everyone.” It was a weird sight.

“Thank you for the food, Regina.” Ruby lifted her glass of OJ to her. How the hell did she even get that?

“You're welcome. Let's eat, shall we?'

For a good twenty minutes, the only sounds heard from all of them were utensils moving, water sloshing and Emma's loud chewing. The atmosphere was tense because of the unopposed silence but everyone moved on with having something to do. Regina's eyes were bouncing from the Evil Queen to the three women she had sex with. EQ was as cool as a cucumber per usual. Ruby was eating just like Emma and was not noticing the tension. Sierra looked a little flushed but was too transfixed with the omelet to let it be known. Nova looked downright horrified. Her neck was so red and she looked like she was bursting at the seams. For all their sake, Regina let the fairy stew.

Emma finished first and tapped her bloated stomach. “Damn, that was good. Babe, do we have anymore pancakes?”

“No darling.”

“That's too bad, Hey EQ, can you magic me some?”

The Evil Queen clicked her tongue. “Would love to dear but I don't think your girlfriend would approve.”

“No more magic for you. From what I know of you, you used magic last night to make...” Regina turned her hand in a circle to denote the foursome. “...this happened.”

“She did.” Ruby smirked. 

“Jesus Christ.” Regina cradled her forehead. “This is how she's going to kill me.” She said to herself. 

“Babe, don't get mad but...” She turned to Ruby. “What happened last night?”

“Do not answer that.” She stood up. “Sierra, Ruby and Nova, do you need a ride home?”

“I think I'm a lesbian.” Nova said lowly, as if trying it on for size. A little more convinced, she smiled after and said it again. “I'm a lesbian. I like girls.” She even stood up and shouted. “I'm a lesbian!”

“Oh God, why me?” Regina sat back down and will the floor to swallow her.

Sierra tried to hold her laughter but it inevitably came out. The next one to laugh was Ruby and then the Evil Queen. Emma, in solidarity to Regina, kept to disguised chuckles. Nova went to The Evil Queen and kneeled in front of her. The woman was startled when Nova took her hand and held it in her chest. “I think I've fallen in love with you.”

EQ pushed back her hair and touched her jaw. “They all do.”

“Do you absolutely have to go back? Can you just stay here? I'll be yours, wholeheartedly.”

She kissed her softly. “I can't. You enjoyed last night, right?”

“I did. Oh, I did. I especially liked it when you made Ruby lick my ass-”

“Nova!” Regina has finally had enough. She dragged Nova up. “Sweet heart, you are not a lesbian. You just had one great night of lesbian sex. You're probably still a little drunk. Would you like me to take you home?”

“I want to be here with her, I want-”

“Emma, since you're dressed and ready to go, please take Nova home to the convent.”

“You know Blue is probably going to kill you, right, Babe?” Emma went to it, still chuckling. Regina glared at the blonde and she quickly stood up. “Yes, honey. Come on, Nova.” Nova protested but the blonde was able to take her out the door and into her car.

“Ruby, Sierra?”

“I'll take Sierra home, Madam Mayor. Your forehead vein looks like it's about to blow. Come on.”

Once they were gone, Regina slumped on a chair and dropped her head on the table. It wasn't even noon and she had already met her embarrassment limit for the day. She stayed there for a while until she heard the Evil Queen move to clean the table. The help and the lack of commentary from her was something she was grateful for. When cleaned, EQ sat beside Regina and patted her shoulder. “Now, now, dear. Don't look too glum. We can't fix wrinkles with magic here.”

“Did you really have to do that?”

“You are aware of what I'm going back to, correct? Loneliness, the never ending hunt to kill Snow White, the nightmares? I was able to see the world when the fight is over and I'm already happy. I had to take advantage. Like you said, I won't remember any of this but in this moment, I do. I am sorry for giving you headaches. I hope you can forgive me.”

Regina sighed. Oddly enough, she didn't see it from her twin's angle. The thought of what's ahead for her broke her heart. There were still a lot of pain and suffering before she got to where she was and to revisit it alone was heart wrenching. To actually have to go through that? She hugged the Evil Queen and whispered, “I'm sorry.”

“You should've joined us in the bedroom, dear. At one point, I swear, I couldn't even tell where the girls ended and I began.”

That made Regina quickly detach. “I'm just going to wash the plates.”


	9. The Evil Queen is a lesbian?

“Regina!” Roland jumped out of his seat and ran to the Evil Queen. The time has come for her to go back but she just had to see the kids first. She will never admit to it but she's grown fond of the little monsters, especially Roland. He was just so adorable. 

She scooped up Roland and laid rapid kisses on his cheeks. “I missed this little guy.”

Charming smiled at the difference between what they used to know and what was in front of them. “Looks like he missed you too.”

Henry was next and flung his gangly body to the woman, almost knocking her down. “I missed you, mom. Did you find what you needed? Did you find the seer?”

“Yes, dear. We found her.”

Regina and Emma came in next, holding all the requirements of the spell. They smiled at the scene before and received hugs from the boys too. Roland went to Emma and demanded to be picked up. She poked his tummy. “Hey, little man.”

“Gamdam!”

Emma's eyes turned to size of saucers. “Shhhh... don't say that out loud okay? Regina's gonna be really mad.” He pointed to the Evil Queen. “No, her.” Emma gestured to Regina and Roland hid his head in her neck. “That's right. So weird you're more afraid of Regina.”

“Emma, do you have everything?” Snow took the kid from her. 

“Yes, Mom. Regina has it all.”

“Shall we begin?” Regina was ready. Once the Evil Queen comes home, she can finally have her happy ending with Emma. Rude as it may seem, she cannot wait to get her twin back home. “Snow, will you please take the children to their rooms first? We don't want Roland jumping in and coming with her.”

The Evil Queen crossed her arms and looked offended. “And why not? I can take care of him. I can make him a prince.”

Regina sighed. “You're coming back to the a where someone was out to kill you. Do you want him to be put in danger?”

“Oh. I guess not. But I will miss him. He is absolutely adorable.”

Snow scoffed. “Not so adorable that night Regina suddenly needed our help. You were in charge of the ice cream, correct? He ran in the apartment all night and kicked Charming in the groin.”

EQ uncharacteristically snickered. “That wasn't on purpose, dear Snow. Plus, I'm sure Charming's fine. You churn out babies like bunnies.”

“Can we stop talking about my manhood?”

Emma cut in before it even got more weird. “Okay then. Kids, say goodbye to Regina with the gown.”

As soon as the little kid heard the word goodbye, he started to cry. “No...” He sniffed. “I love Regina.” He wrapped his tiny arms around the Queen's legs. “Don't leave. Ice cream.” The kid jumped from sniffling to wailing hard when Charming tried to pry him off. “Noooooo!!! Reginaaa!!!!” Snow came to his husbands aid by pushing a bowl of ice cream to Roland's face. The wailing turned back to sniffles as soon as he saw the dessert and scooped some with his finger. Once he tasted the sugary dessert, he smiled at Regina. “Don't leave. I love Regina.”

“Oh my darling, I love-” She choked on the word. Was that real? Was she really capable of loving? In such a short amount of time? Care, she clearly felt for them but love? How could that be when she doesn't know how to love very well? She pushed the thought aside from the time being. “Can I hold him for the last time?”

“Sure.”

She carried Roland and hugged him tightly. The kid returned the affection and started to sniffle again. “Forget me?”

“No.” She whisper. It was the only voice she can manage without cracking. “I won't. Now be a good boy and go with your grand father. Enjoy that ice cream, okay?”

He nodded eagerly before going back to Charming's arms. 

Henry was next to say his goodbye and since he was a big boy, he tried to hold it together the best he could. “I'm gonna miss having two moms.”

“You already do, Henry.” Henry blinked and the Evil Queen nodded. Between finding the Seer and shipping them both to Snow, they didn't really have time to talk.

“Really?” His eyes went to Emma and Regina. “We're gonna be a family?”

Regina's face turned white. 

“Don't say it out loud, Henry. They're not ready yet but they will be, soon. Be patient with them, alright, my dear?” Henry couldn't hold it in anymore and started to tear up. The Evil Queen wiped his tear away and hugged him. “Be good, okay? Don't give them too much of a hard time.”

Henry nodded before he took one look and went to his room.

Snow came forward. “How do we do this?”

“We make a portal. Emma?”

Emma took the six items and surrounded them around the Evil Queen. “We're gonna miss you. You're actually fun.”

“You're about to find out just how much, Sheriff.” She said salaciously. Regina was gonna say something but decided not to bring more attention to it. The vial with the Seer's tear was handed to her and she closed her eyes as she started the chant.

Regina was able to get to the half of the long spell before the door flew open.   
“Wait!”

They all looked back and saw Nova, panting and with crazy hair, like she just ran all the way from the convent. 

“Wait, Regina!” She walked closer and went to the startled Evil Queen. “I couldn't let you go without one last kiss.” With that, she grabbed EQ's face and kissed her hard. 

Regina, Emma and Snow were all equally shocked at what just happened.

The Evil Queen pushed Nova slightly. “Nova-”

“I love you.” She kissed her again.

Snow tugged on Emma's sweater. “What the hell is happening? The Evil Queen is... a lesbian? Did you know about this cause you sure don't seem shocked.” She eventually turned away since it was getting a little too raunchy for her. EQ decided to give Nova what she wanted for the last time. 

Emma thought it best to keep quiet and just watch the scene unfold. When they finally had enough of each other, which was quite a long time, they separated. “Guys, maybe we should-”

“I love you so much.”

“Darling, I have to go. You'll find someone else in this land.”

Nova pouted. “But I want you.” She glanced at Regina. “Do you think I can fall in love with Regina too? Do you think I can have with her what I had with you?”

Emma's jaw steeled. EQ caught this. “Maybe not Regina... How about Ruby? She seems pretty taken with you-”

“Ruby?!” Snow asked, horrified at the thought.

“Yes, dearest. Ruby. Don't tell you didn't have a couple romps in the sack back in our land? I know everything, remember?”

Regina clapped. “Enough! Nova, she needs to leave now. I'm sorry to thwart your love affair here. Can you move back? Watch out for the things on the floor.” Nova reluctantly followed but not without a last kiss. When she was officially out of the way, Regina went back to her original position. “Ready?”

“Before I go, I have one request.” She eyed Emma before moving back to Regina. “Get me my happy ending.”

“I will.” Regina smiled at her for the last time before she started the spell. This time, she was able to finish. Once the final word was spoken, the vial was opened and dropped to the ground. Where it made contact, a portal appeared on the floor. Strong winds emanated from the black and purple swirl and it spread throughout the small living room. EQ gave one last smile to all of them before she slowly disappeared. The color lifted from the floor and exploded in a soft pop. Just like that, the Evil Queen was gone and back to the Fairy tale Land. They all stood quiet for a couple moments.

The house felt empty and somewhat colder now that the Evil Queen was gone. Emma hugged herself and checked each other's reaction, which is pretty much the same, even Snow. The only thing that broke the silence was Roland's wailing. It could be that he felt the void left by the Evil Queen as well. Regina hid her face as she tried to dry a couple tears. Emma wanted nothing more than to hold her but Snow was still watching.

“She's gone.” Nova said. 

“You're gonna be okay, Nova. Maybe you should talk to Grumpy again-”

Nova dry heaved. “Being with men was the biggest mistake of my life. Women are so much better. They're soft, they smell nice and they're just... so good at getting you there. If you know what I mean.” Then she sidled up to Regina and rubbed her arm up and down. “Regina, do you think we can... talk later? We can go get a drink, my treat?”

Regina swallowed. “I..um...” She looked over her shoulder and saw that Emma was trying hard not to react. She took a step back. “I have some things to do, Dear.” 

“Am I gonna have to fight her for you? Because I will. I know you're not the Evil Queen anymore but she's still inside you and I will fight skinny little Emma for you, Regina-”

“Hold on.” Snow interjected. “Why are you going to fight Emma for Regina? What's going on?”

Nova gave her a look that said 'Duh!'. “They are totally dating! We went to a strip club last night and they were kissing. I'm even sure they slept together because us four all stayed in one room and they went to the Regina's room.”

“Nova!”

Emma's face and chest was red. “Nova...”

“What? It's true. Don't even deny it. It actually happened-”

Snow looks like she's seen a ghost and was one push away from crumpling to the ground. “Emma, is what she's saying true? Are you dating-kissing?”

She looked so horrified and Regina was a little offended. Thanks to Nova's libido and large mouth, they didn't even have the chance to prepare how they're going to deal with this. Now, she kinda wished the Evil Queen was still here so she can be a distraction. But no, they're gonna have to face this alone. Her last words crashed back to her.

Get me my happy ending.

Regina took a deep breath before she took Emma's hand for support. “Listen, Snow...”


End file.
